Board Games

Before the internet, LAN parties, and modems, the only way we used to be able to play a cooperative game was to either play sports (boooo!) or play a board game (yay!). It has been about 3 years since I've last played a decent board game (Puerto Rico), but when we were kids, we used to play board games all the time.

The gang of players would include my sister, my brother, my two older cousins, and me. Sometimes, we'd include school friends into the posse as well. The popular games of choice would include Monopoly, Cluedo, Poleconomy, Ratrace, Game of Life, Ulcers, Mad Magazine, Taxi, Postcards (also known as Seaside Frolics, one of the most beautiful games I've ever played) and Saidina (a Monopoly rip-off based on Malaysian towns and streets).

Succeeding in the Game of Life - it's all down to luck.

The earliest board games I remember playing probably started with Fun Fair, Sorry, Ludo and Snakes & Ladders. Most of these games didn't really have much in the way of strategy, just luck with the dice which explains why we progressed on to more 'mature' games as we got older.

Sorry, the game that taught kids about sarcasm.

We used to play board games either at home, at Lake Club's kids' room or the kids' library. Looking back at it now, we were a big bunch of competitive board game nerds, carting them around with us wherever we went. If anything, playing the games probably taught us how to be competitive in a good way, though some of us may still need to learn how to lose gracefully.

Thelega iligin-falagay-malagus fileguyve.
Pictured above, the faces of treachery behind masks of innocence

Monopoly was by far the most popular game we played, which we played with our own interpretation of the rules. Some variations included no purchasing properties on the first round. I think it was supposed to even out the game so that everyone was moving by the time the first property was bought.

Another change to the rule was getting automatic exclusive rights to a colour strip with the first colour property bought. This sped up the process of achieving a monopoly so that we could develop houses and hotels faster. The alternative to that was that we could develop houses and hotels without the need of a monopoly. Then there was the Free Parking Fund where all taxes were placed under the Free Parking square, and the first person to land there would get the accumulated loot.

I think the most exciting version we came up with was the double board figure eight configuration where we collected double the income each time we went past GO. This provided the players with more money, and more properties to buy. As you can tell, with such drastic changes to the game dynamics, the games would last through the night.

I think we even had a version where you could purchase multiple hotels per title and rack up debts.

The last time I played Monopoly with my immediate family, which was before 1999, we had a big blow out about people ganging up on other people, and there were a lot of tantrums thrown around the place, so we've since put that on the Banned At Family Gatherings pile. I think the first time I've ever played Monopoly by the rules was about 4 years ago with friends from Canada and France and I have to say, it's a lot faster by the rules.

The good thing is, we have most of our games stacked up at Mum's place. I think most of the pieces are still there, but we could always get replacements online, or rebuild them from scratch. You can even print your own Monopoly cash if you're short of $1s, $5s, $10s, $20s, $50s, $100s or $500s. The only thing is, I need more players, but hopefully in a few years, the boys will be ready to take me on, otherwise I'll have to get together with my family the next time we meet up. In the meantime, I hear that my nephews are already being trained by my sister for the 2015 Monopoly Royal Rumble. Good luck to them, as I'm teaching my boys strategies on how to play Monopoly well and how to palm loaded dice.

You're never too young to learn to scam.

Bata Slippers

For most of my childhood in Malaysia, my main casual footwear were Bata slippers. I wore them everywhere, from riding my bike, to the pools, and even as evening wear. I wore them for years too, until I was probably in my mid-teens. They were comfortable, easy to slip on and provide great airflow, which is a great feature in a hot and humid country.

At least my feet were comfortable.

There are a couple of stories about my slippers that I remember. One was an urban myth from my cousin Kris who stated that my extended use of slippers would cause your 2nd toe to extend way beyond your big toe. I can tell you now that if that were true, my feet would look like ET's hands.

Nothing wrong with my toes at all.

The other story revolves around a time when I was supposed to go out to dinner with my extended family. Of course the only thing to wear for such an occasion were my blue & whites. Apparently this wasn't up to the dress code for the restaurant (I can't remember which restaurant it was) at Lake Club, so my grandfather dragged my ass off to the shoe shop at the club, all the while giving me a lecture about my slippers. All I can remember about those shoes were that they weren't terribly comfortable, but they did get me into the restaurant.

To me, the slippers were a symbol  of my laid back attitude in life, that life shouldn't be taken so seriously. Fashion should always be comfortable and reflects who you are, and never conformist. Looking back at it now, I still never understood why a kid couldn't just wear slippers into a restaurant. Was it an industrial zone with big blocks of lead falling on people's toes? No. Are my feet so mangled that the mere sight of them caused one to puke? No. Which probably explains why I don't wear a suit to work too. I work better when I'm comfortable and I'm happier when I'm comfortable.

The sad thing is, I can't get them anymore. I've had friends and family scour the various Bata shops in Malaysia to no avail. Apparently they used to be pretty big in India too, sold as Bata Hawaii Chappals, but they've since stop making them there too. I was hoping to pick up a pair for myself, and a set for my kids, so that they too get to train their toes to be able to pick up dropped keys, write letters and peel bananas. There is some hope though. I've been searching the internet for awhile now, and it looks like Bata Kenya still sells them under their Patapata brand. It might take me awhile before I head out that way, so in the mean time, I'll have to make do with whatever I can find.

The Bata Patapata slipper. The only thing missing is the blue Bata logo.

Zeitgeist

My kids will never get to enjoy Star Wars (later renamed Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope) the way I enjoyed the movie as a kid. The same could be said with regards to Star Trek: The Next Generation, Tron, Ultima 4, Bard's Tale, Dragonlance, Groo The Wanderer and everything else that I enjoyed as a kid. While it is entirely possible to watch every movie I've watched, read every book I've read, and play every game I played, the moment when it meant something during that time is way past.

Where I learnt the meaning of virtue, mantras and avatar.
Would've been easier to pick up a dictionary, but less fun.
Image Source: Wikipedia

I remember talking to friends during our lunch breaks about the Empire Strikes back, and the surprising news that (SPOILER ALERT) Darth Vader was Luke's father. We had endless discussions about the new toys released, we re-enacted lightsaber battles and generally lived the Star Wars experience. My brother, sister and I would collect a Wookie's Bandolier of Star Wars figurines, vehicles, and plush toys. I'd go over to a friend's place and admire his diecast Millennium Falcon, or spend a weekend with my brother destroying our lightsabers.

Man, those lightsabers would've been worth a mint if we hadn't destroyed them.

However, 30 years, 6 movies, endless cartoons, hundreds of books and (SPOILER ALERT) the death of Chewbacca later, Star Wars seems to have lost its appeal to me, and probably kids in general. Sure, I still sit back and watch it once in awhile, but I don't spend hours discussing it like I did when I was a kid (except to try to convince my brother that Lucas didn't have a clue about the whole Star Wars Mythology back in 1977 - *cough* Darth Vader built C3P0 *cough*), and neither will my kids. Sure, they may watch Empire one day, but when Vader tells Luke about being his father, they'll know because that came about in Revenge of the Sith. Actually, they won't know it as I'll never let my kids watch Episodes I-III.

Trade Federation, blockade, taxation, trade routes, blah blah blah...

The same thing goes for watching Tron and The Last Starfighter. Imagine watching Tron before there was CG, that was how mind blowing it was for me. Lightcycles, arcade games, frisbee battles, how awesome was that? The Last Starfighter had some of the best CG space battles ever, like the Death Blossom scene. You look back at those movies now, and it looks like they were rendered with MS Paint. The thing was, they were great movies for me at the time.

Looks like you're watching someone play a computer game on the big screen.

Once upon a time, I played Zork: The Great Underground Empire on my Apple II. I stood outside a White House, I went down dungeons with my lantern (I'm afraid of Grues), and got lost in a game that consisted of a black screen with some words and a prompt. Zork spawned multiple sequels, The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, and many others by Infocom. The games were marketed as Interactive Fiction, claiming that no graphics processor could beat the human imagination, and comparing them to the graphical games in the 80s, that wasn't a huge claim. By today's standards, I'd think that you'd be hard pressed to convince kids to play them.

Unfortunately for them, it's hard to sell games using your imagination...

compared to a game that leaves nothing to the imagination

The thing is, games get better all the time, have huge development teams, better graphics, online forums, create 2nd lives for people, and have legions of followers. Unfortunately for me, I don't have the time nor the patience to really get stuck into a game for more than a couple of weeks, which is a sad thing.

You're probably saying to yourself now that I must be a sad bastard to lament not having enough time to play games, but you'd be wrong. I'm not lamenting the fact that I don't get to play enough games, I'm lamenting the fact that I won't get to spend as much time playing games with my kids as I would like to. This means that I won't "get" what my kids are going on about, what movies that they're all talking about at school, what's the next big thing that's coming out for Christmas. In short, I'm lamenting about the generation gap that will occur between me and my kids. They will get to experience their own zeitgeist, have their own interests, be moved by other movies, move out and have their own kids. In short, I lament not being able to grow up with them, and that isn't all of it.

The thing is, the older we get, the more we drift apart. Brothers, sisters, parents, cousins and friends, we all slowly drift further apart as our interests and social circles change through the years. Once upon a time, we'd all be watching the same cartoons, hanging out at the same pool, playing with the same toys, going to the same beaches, but now, my family is spread across 5 countries, we all work in completely different fields, we are immersed in a sea of media streams, and it isn't surprising that half the time we haven't a clue what each other's interests are, and end up moaning about work clients, as that's something we can all relate to. Of course, the odd blog helps, but at the end of the day, that lack of real social interaction like talking about any old rubbish, chatting about the inane, and just hanging out on a daily basis means that we'll inevitably drift apart. While that means my kids will never get to grow up with me, while I still can, I'll try my hardest to grow up with them, even if it means having to watch Cricket with them (and I'll be sure that they'll also watch Star Wars with me).

Hopefully by then, they'll have invented Lightsaber Cricket.

The cinematic experience

Back in the day, going out to watch a movie at a cinema was quite an experience. The screens were big, the popcorn was cheap, and you could run out for a pee halfway through a movie without missing anything.

One of the biggest things that I miss about the movies are the red velvet curtains that would hang from ceiling to floor across the whole length of the screen. I would be sitting in the dark waiting for the show to start when the projector would start to hum, and the waves of fabric would slowly gather up, revealing a new world behind the curtain. The deep red brought a feeling of rich opulence that added to the special experience of going out to watch a movie.

Let's not forget the chilly touch of a ghost in the balcony.
(Picture of the Coronet, Notting Hill)

That wasn't the only thing about the theatre experience that I miss. You used to be able to choose if you wanted to watch a movie from the stalls, or up in the balcony seats. I preferred the balcony, especially at the front of the row, as it offered the unobstructed view of the screen. Being a kid, there's nothing worse than trying to peer between people's shoulders to watch a movie. Sitting in the stalls gave others the opportunity to throw things at you. There's nothing worse than getting a chunk of hair cut out because of a stray piece of chewing gum.

Patrick Stewart before the problem with the gum.

I also miss those pre-show cartoons that used to show before the main feature kicked in. They may have only been a few minutes long, but it sure could buy you extra time if you were running late for the movie, and provided a lot more entertainment than all the ads you get bombarded with nowadays. I think the last pre-movie short I saw was Valley of the Stereos by Peter Jackson.


This leads on to movie intermissions. Imagine if you will, watching Avatar (running time 162 minutes) and drinking a large coke. Now imagine what it is like around the 2 hour mark and you're starting to get cold sweats from keeping that litre of coke in your bladder. Don't they know that people have died from bursting bladders? Intermissions used to give the projectionist a chance to swap film reels (yes, physical media) and for the cinemas to sell you more wholesome snacks.

Expensive salty-buttery packing foam

It wasn't all great back in the old days though. The seats were stiff backed forcing you to sit up straight for the whole length of the movie, which in turn annoyed the little boy behind you struggling to see over your head. The seats were also narrowly spaced between the rows so that more people could get squeezed in (just like modern airlines). You either got your toes trod upon, or you were in danger of flipping over the front seats. On top of that, most of the early cinemas I remember going to were not air conditioned! They probably found it too expensive to run a bank of air conditioners to cool down a large auditorium back in the old days (or had a lot of environmental forethought). Then again, it was cheaper to watch a movie back then too as it is over NZ$15 to watch a movie today (well over a 300% increase in price). That probably means that it'll cost $45 when my kids get to my age.

"Could I have four tickets for Star Wars Episode 9: The Ewoks Take Coruscant (3D)"

So the screens are generally smaller today compared to their predecessors (apart from the IMAX screens), but it also gives us more choice of what to watch. It isn't uncommon to get 12 movies running concurrently, whereas back in the day, you could choose from either Superman or Drunken Master for the whole week. That's not such a bad thing though, as I'll explore next week about the whole zeitgeist of the 70s and 80s.

I learnt to ride a bike and lived to tell the tale

Sometime around 1983, I learnt to ride a bike at my piano teacher's house. My sister, brother and I used to go to Mrs Soh's house for piano lessons, and at the end of our sessions, we would hang out at the front of her house with her kids who happened to have bikes. I learnt to balance on the bike by coasting down her driveway, and after a few weeks, I got the hang of riding it.

In case you were wondering, I'm sitting on a red seat, and yes, that is my real hair.

For me, part of the stimulus to ride a bike probably came from watching E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, The Goonies, The Karate Kid and Whiz Kids.  The personal freedom of escaping FBI agents, running down gangsters and jumping the moon just looked awesome, which coincidently I did none of. There were a bunch of other BMX movies that came out too like RAD (my wife recommends it) and BMX Bandits (starring Nicole Kidman!) that I vaguely recall but can't remember which probably helped with the boom of BMX bikes being sold everywhere. At the time most of my friends had a BMX (you know who you are, Mr Raleigh Chopper) and we proceeded to do stupid stunts with our new wheels.

Richie Adler and friends (from the Whiz Kids theme) tearing
after the stupid spaniel who peed on RALF.

Goonies, the coolest geeks on bikes.

With a bag like that, you know he's about to get his ass kicked.
Picture from Crackle.com

Now, you have to realise that this was way before anyone bothered to wear safety helmets. Some of the accidents that have been recounted back to me include cycling fast down a hill and slamming on the front brakes causing a handlebar flip, falling off the bike while trying to stand on top of the bike, and losing a front wheel while cycling. My brother tells me that I once collided with another cyclist, but I must've been concussed as I can't recall that incident at all.

"I'll never survive the landing!"

My other misadventure seems lame by comparison. I was cycling down a steep road and I started to veer round a corner. Unluckily for me, the road had a surface layer of loose asphalt which caused my bike to slip out from under me and sent me and my bike into a corner storm drain (longkang). It's kind of hard to explain what the storm drain is like in the suburbs of Petaling Jaya, but suffice to say, it was about a 2 meter drop into a concrete pit, head first. I'm still not quite sure what happened, but the bike was basically on top of me, with a dented rim and handlebar. Surprisingly, I walked away with a swollen jaw, and some scratches on my palms and legs. I'm not sure how I did it, but I managed to get the bike out of the drain and pushed it all the way home without anyone knowing about it. Despite that, I still learnt to ride my bike hands free without a helmet, because I'm stupid like that.

It was like falling into the Death Star trench.
Photo Source

Aside from the dangers of riding a bike, we used to have fun riding all over the place. My friends and I used to shoot down alleys, dodging broken glass bottles, dog crap, dead rats and rubbish. We'd go to the various local parks, where we had to cycle across a plank of wood just to get into the park (I'm not sure what the urban planner's reason for limiting public access by only providing a plank. Cost cutting?). We'd try to shoot out each other's tyres with a plastic bow & arrow set. We'd even cycle through snake infested grass patches and tried to avoid the packs of rabid dogs that would chase us if we ever dared to slow down. We'd once come across several boxes of packing foam discarded in front of a derelict factory. So we made a 'snow' pile and drove through it. Through it all, I had my 5 year old brother following behind us with his trainer wheels. It would take my sister another 26 years before she learnt to ride a bike.

BTW Bro, jandals don't help when you mangle your feet
in the bike chain. I know that from experience.

Nowadays, I'm less inclined to cycle. Unlike the suburbs of Petaling Jaya, Auckland tends to be a lot on the hilly side. Maybe in a couple of years when the kids are old enough to balance, we'll roll out the bikes, strap on our helmets, and burn baby burn.